Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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