Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
And then he peed in my hair
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
