I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
