it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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