He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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