Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
