I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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