Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
