this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
