He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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