I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
