I feel great
I just peed on a car
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
