Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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