you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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