If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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