And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
