So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
