the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She tied me up with her honor cords...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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