I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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