which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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