I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize