I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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