she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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