I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
