You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
