Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
