I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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