bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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