remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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