I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
