Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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(734): View more from Michigan

He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry

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(850): View more from Florida

I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich

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(818): View more from California

You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.

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