my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
barbara walters just said penis...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
