I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
