If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I could fuck to npr.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
