and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
