Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
