don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
