Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
