Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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