no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
