I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
