i'm signing you up for texting rehab
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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