god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
