okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
