The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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