Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
