well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
