She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
