jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
