Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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