Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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