That's intense
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
