y did u give ur computer a hand job?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize