I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
