That's intense
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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