Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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