she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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