There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
