I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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