You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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