I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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