I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
