a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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