Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
